The truth be known...

I am blessed to call myself the mother of the four most incredible daughters. As we wait on the Lord to lead us it is such a joy to have them standing with us in prayer, as armor bearers and listening for the Lord's leading along with us.

My eldest approached me today, asking if I was open to adopting from Ethiopia, just like she asked me if I was open to Viet Nam during our last adoption. Though I immediately said, "Yes, of course", I knew in my heart of hearts I had reservations. I thought I had disguised myself well enough but of course she discerned the truth. What was my reservation? Perhaps there was more than one, but surely they were all based in fear. The path that was cleared before, that lead us to Viet Nam was "easy". I had a true and deep love for the country and it's people I had support to raise our daughter as a Vietnamese. I felt so connected. Just as I had to Taiwan when we began our adoption of Amelia in Viet Nam. Could God change my heart again, could I love yet another country, feel connected to this child?

I knew God's work, if HE was indeed leading us elsewhere, would be complete, so what my daughter did not know, was that moved by Psalm 72, I had contacted three weeks earlier, an adoption agency about Africa...

We are not "caught" in the wait...

The news of so many referrals we are seeing on our agency's yahoo group is wonderful and fills our hearts with excitement for the families who have been blessed. I know all too well, though, the feelings of discouragement that can come when your "plans" seem to be going no where while others celebrate. From friends baby showers and baby's births to others getting referrals while we are in uncertainty can hurt or at least be difficult BUT because our God is faithful that is not OUR case.

I wanted to share that though it appears we are waiting because there is an "issue" with the continuation of USA and VN adoptions we believe that this wait is about so much more. We are waiting for God to do His good work, for HIM to place the solitary in our family, for HIM to bring our son home. We are waiting for another miracle...

Adding a child to our family, whether through my body or through adoption has been nothing less than miraculous EACH TIME and it is that miracle we want once again. What miracle? Miraculously we have watched as God has brought exactly the children HE knew should be a part of our family. The ultimate testimony to this is the "feelings" I have had as each of my 4 daughters have been place in my longing arms. Each time the yearning for them the same, each time the fulfilment the same, each time the joy the same, each time the love the same... God is soooo good!

Politics, politics, politics...

Having been in contact with someone who works with Guatemala adoptions and seeing how they are scrambling to finance the orphanages without money coming in (due to the halt of adoptions at this time in Guatemala) Viet Nam has been weighing very heavy on my heart. Who will care for the children???

For so many reasons Viet Nam finds itself in a situation where children need homes and to us the number one issue here is to find families for children who need them, at least until the underlying cause of the situation is hopefully one day resolved. Sounds so simple, huh? It should be but all too often man's pride and selfishness intervene. Sad...

Recently the Phu Tho province in Viet Nam, where Amelia is from, closed adoptions to US citizens. Why? Politics, politics, POLITICS... They would not endure the situation with the US government. What situation read on...

Though I do understand and want to make sure we are adopting children who are truly in need as orphans, I also know that there are better ways for the US of going about these investigations while respecting the families and country involved. The US agents have been going to villages and questioning not only the birthparent(s) and family but others in the area who might know about the situation. They have even shown up uninvited to VN government agencies asking questions. Of course, many times, the pregnancy and relinquishments has been done in secret (even being kept from family) so this "investigation" can amount to search and destroy missions (search out the birth family and destroy their reputation and in some instances their lives as they know it, not to mention the disrespect shown towards the government by making these unsolicited visits to their agencies.) Should not these birth mothers and families be respected and even rewarded with dignity for their choice to give these children life? The alternative and what has been seen elsewhere is when the pressure is so great on these poor women they resort to what they feel is their only choice in the situation, abortion. And should not this government be treated as an equal, at the very least in their humanity, receiving respect towards their customs and for what we experienced, a deep care for their children (while in VN we were stopped over and over by locals who fawned over Amelia and asked us to bring her back and let her know where she comes from).

I believe, though unfortunate, that investigations will or will not occur depending on the "respect" level (ie what do we stand to lose) of the US government toward the country in question. Why do we not hear of a major investigation of all the thousands of Chinese abandoned babies? And this a country known to sell organs on the
black market. Here's another thought…would the US do the same types of investigations here in the US??? Not without an UPROAR, from both sides of the political arena.

Yes there needs to be reform to include transparency and uniformity but Viet Nam should not and will not be strong armed into changing. How soon we forget the that WE lost the war... And who will lose here? The children. Those who will not be adopted and those who will not receive aid given by the agencies working in the country. Our agency is still working to care for the babies in Phu Tho province even though they will not be able to place children from there. Their are hearts are with the people and children of Viet Nam and we are blessed by their efforts.

If the US would only approach VN with humility what a different story this would be. Yes we help and give more than any other nation in the world yet I wish it were with a different spirit. I hate the feeling many citizens leave behind as they travel over seas. The "we are better attitude". We know more, know better, have more, etc.(If you have been abroad let's be real you know we have the "stuck up" reputation!) It leaves a stench in peoples nostrils. We wondered how the Vietnamese would feel about us when we were in country. With bomb craters from the US war still a reality in that country it amazed us how we were welcomed with open arms. Their philosophy to look forward for the best of their people allows them to move on from bitternesses. What an amazing people.

Oh and I just laugh thinking of all the problems our Embassy is giving families about documents and such not being in order since it's not like that has never happened to them. Before we left VN the US embassy mixed up ours and another families paperwork. Praise God we caught it or it would have been a very different arrival at US customs stateside when they opened that brown Visa envelope!

We will continue to cry out to God for the door to remain open in Viet Nam but equally for the resolution to include the respectful treatment of this nation.

Ok off my soap box.

P.S. We just had a new family move into the neighborhood who is Vietnamese. Of course we have already gotten together and will soon be treated to some home made Pho...mmmmm.

Waiting on the Lord...

We're "waiting" but encouraged by the LORD.

Before we went to see Bella we were talking and praying about Samuel's business and the adoption. Avonlea shared that she had been discouraged about the adoption earlier that day but that the Lord had given her Psalm 52:9. She read it to us, "I will praise thee forever, because thou hast done [it]:" As you can imagine we all began to praise God. I then shared how the Lord had placed such a peace in my heart and how I felt led to write the agency directors saying that we did not want to "push "this" or do "that" to speed things up because once you had seen the goodness of God as He has added each child to your family you wanted nothing less! We knew if we asked the agency if we could move forward, because of our previous adoption and good relationship with them, they would probably have said yes. This was something Samuel considered doing but we knew God was resisting. Though other families would go hyper-drive gathering documents to try to "squeeze" there process through in Viet Nam we decided rather to "wait" on the MASTER weaver create our family tapestry. (The Lord gave me a picture before we began any adoption process of Him weaving a tapestry. As He added threads of different colors I said, "I don't think that goes together". He told me that I was seeing it through my eyes but that He wanted me to see it through His. In an instant I could see the entire piece complete. The "colors" I thought were out of place blended beautifully to make the finished piece...our family. That is what gave me the faith to begin the process of international adoption.)

As I was sharing about waiting on the Lord, I asked Avonlea to pass me her Bible so I could read Psalm 52:9 myself. As I read it I noticed there was a : at the end of what she had read. In fact the scripture continued on the next page... And what do you think it said??? and I will wait on thy name; for [it is] good before thy saints. God is GOOD!!! Is there anything impossible for our GOD?!

Psalm 52:9 I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done (to do, fashion, accomplish, make) [it]: and I will wait [to wait or look for eagerly, hope, expect, to lie in wait for, linger for-to collect, bind (I will bind myself to the promises of GOD!)] on thy name (reputation, fame, glory); for [it is] good before thy saints.

God has done HIS good work and we eagerly bind ourselves to HIS promises and wait eagerly because we know HIS reputation... AMEN!

Doors will close but His will open...

Well here is our adoption update for the day. I sent out for oodles of information packets. We have not given up on VN and at this point will wait to see what happens but it is encouraging to read and hear in the info packets of others who have been down this path.

It seems like so many doors are closed, either due to age, closed programs, quotas met, Amelia not being home long enough... Amazingly we just get excited knowing God has a plan that only He will be able to work out.

Trusting in HIM...

Remember how we were saying how great it was to have our path "straight" before us with this adoption? We knew the country, we knew the agency and we were ready to go. Well I have always prayed that each of our children would have a powerful testimony of how God brought them to our family and more importantly of HIS faithfulness toward them. I guess God remembered that prayer and reminded us we are not to trust in our plans. Lot's of crying out going on here.

On another note Samuel spoke to the director of our homestudy agency. The director mentioned minority domestic adoptions as well as El Salvador and Ethiopia. He will send information via email.

Two???

So here is another thought... Since we are older we are wondering about adopting 2 boys at once. I suppose that comes from a fear of not being able to adopt again. On the other side I think if God wanted that He would have given me 2 names.

I told Avonlea it would be lack of faith to do it if it were because of our ages, or the country situation and she said, as only she can, that it would be lack of faith not to do it because I felt I couldn't handle it.... Gotta love her!

We're back home...

We just got back to NC late last night. We unpacked today, went out for a drive to see the fall leaves and I am planning for school now.

Samuel and I have been praying about how to proceed with the adoption but have definitely not given up on Viet Nam. With our ages what they are we do not qualify for many countries and with things so up in the air we just have to sit tight and wait. Wait on God who we know will open the doors HE wants us to go through!

What a difference a week makes...

Being in Florida it has been difficult for me to get online. Well I was finally able to get on our agency's yahoo group today and saw the announcement that they will not be accepting applications for VN at this time and will reevaluate the situation in March, 08. WOW!!! We had already contacted out hs agency and were beginning the process as soon as we got home. Incredible...

So let me explain the agency's decision. There is an agreement between the US and VN which allows for US families to adopt from VN. Though not necessary on the US side having the agreement is part of the Vietnamese constitution. The agreement expires September 1 of 2008 but must be renewed 6 months prior for adoptions to continue without interruption. The agency is concerned adoptions beginning at this point might not make that deadline.

The other issues is that the US is putting a lot of pressure on VN to process the adoptions according to what they feel are more stringent guidelines. The implication of corruption has been seen by the Vietnamese government as an offense against the Vietnamese people and government. Not good diplomacy...

Anyway as a result of all this the US government has decided to do their own investigations into many adoptins and has actually denied entrance visas for MANY babies. What does this mean? That these children, though legally adopted by US families and already in their custody are unable to enter the US. There are many families now battling this issue, having hired immigration attorneys. Worse case scenario they have been told they will have to "sign" their children back into the orphanages basically abandoning them. How my heart aches for these parents. I cannot even imagine loving my baby, getting to know her, feeling her sweet skin only to give her back. The other alternative they have is to move to VN for 2 years and reapply for a VISA.

Of course our hearts are aching for the son that we believe God wants to add to our family but right now are praying for these precious families to come home with their babes and that all would be smoothed out as soon as possible.

So where do we go from here...on our knees. In the end we desire God's plan to prevail and trust He will move us if our child is indeed in another country (up until now we have never ended up where we started!). We know if there is a change of country we will again be blessed beyond measure with God's handiwork.

More children???!!!

I am amazed each time we get remarks about the size of our family since in our minds we have a small family. There are those who think it is amazing we would want more children and that we would go through the incredible process of international adoption...AGAIN. Truly after seeing God’s hand move each time He has added to our family we are excited and blessed at the possibility!

God, what are you doing?

It was wonderful to have time to pray this morning, to spend time with my precious Lord. Lately, with all that has gone on with the house, there have been times I have felt so far from God. I have been praying yet, my mind so FULL of the cares of this world, have not felt I have met with my Abba. I am grateful for this time to "let go" of all that has been heavy on my heart and listen and remember my love for my KING.

As I prayed I felt God wanted to show me something about our next child. HE led me to:

Psalm 72

1Give the king thy judgments, O God, and thy righteousness unto the king's son.

2He shall judge thy people with righteousness, and thy poor with judgment.

3The mountains shall bring peace to the people, and the little hills, by righteousness.

4He shall judge the poor of the people, he shall save the children of the needy, and shall break in pieces the oppressor.

5They shall fear thee as long as the sun and moon endure, throughout all generations.

6He shall come down like rain upon the mown grass: as showers that water the earth.

7In his days shall the righteous flourish; and abundance of peace so long as the moon endureth.

8He shall have dominion also from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth.

9They that dwell in the wilderness shall bow before him; and his enemies shall lick the dust.

10The kings of Tarshish and of the isles shall bring presents: the kings of Sheba and Seba shall offer gifts.

11Yea, all kings shall fall down before him: all nations shall serve him.

12For he shall deliver the needy when he crieth; the poor also, and him that hath no helper.

13He shall spare the poor and needy, and shall save the souls of the needy.

14He shall redeem their soul from deceit and violence: and precious shall their blood be in his sight.

15And he shall live, and to him shall be given of the gold of Sheba: prayer also shall be made for him continually; and daily shall he be praised.

16There shall be an handful of corn in the earth upon the top of the mountains; the fruit thereof shall shake like Lebanon: and they of the city shall flourish like grass of the earth.

17His name shall endure for ever: his name shall be continued as long as the sun: and men shall be blessed in him: all nations shall call him blessed.

18Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, who only doeth wondrous things.

19And blessed be his glorious name for ever: and let the whole earth be filled with his glory; Amen, and Amen.

20The prayers of David the son of Jesse are ended.

The verses in red are the ones that stood out to me as I read the passage. I was struck by an overwhelming impression that our next child would come from severe poverty and drought. I reasoned, "Viet Nam is a developing nation and it has impoverished areas", but deep in my heart I knew the only place we would see that poverty was in Africa. As soon as the thought came up I dismissed it my heart. Hadn't God told us we were adopting again while we were in Viet Nam? And we were so in love with that precious country and it's people...

Heading South

We heading down to Florida to visit friend and family and to go to a Christian girls conference. We stopped in Atlanta for a couple of days to let baby rest (she HATES being in the car) AND give the girls a chance to go the American Girl store (I REALLY need stock in that company, LOL!)

So what's up with the adoption? Well on our way down to Atlanta all Samuel and I could do was talk about that sweet baby boy!!! We hope to have some extra time to pray and get direction while we're here.

Money, money, money...

Well with all this "talk" of adoption we are in "trusting" mode with finances. We are seeing God bring in money and need to see HIS hand bring in more quickly if we are really to adopt anytime soon.

The present obstacle is that we must exceed by 125% the federal poverty level for not 6 but 7 family members (it has to include the new baby, member number 7!!!). Not sure still if it is gross, net or adjusted income. Never thought we'd be looking at the poverty level but here we are blessed to be trusting God to bring in the finances through the business He led Samuel to start. Ok you know what is really crazy? That our poverty level is more than some families will see in a lifetime in other nations...

We know God is going to work all this out. After 4 miracle children we know HE is faithful, sovereign and omnipotent. If HE indeed placed this baby boy in our hearts then HE will make a way!!!

Are you in Viet Nam?

We really had a great experience with both agencies (home study here in NC and placement agency in Oregon) we used for Amelia's adoption. After dealing with a few not so great agencies (putting it mildly) we were so blessed to find them and HOPE we can use them both to bring Evan home.

I am keeping up with the placement agencies yahoo group and thngs are getting crazy in Viet Nam. The US embassy is investigating more adoptions and is not approving all VISA requests for entry to the US. Though there can be corruption anywhere in the world this issue is really about cultural differences between the VN government and people and how our government want things done. Well, I am getting butterflies in my stomach and wondering if Evan will be in Viet Nam after all.

We know it's a BOY!

So we have been talking, dreaming and in general thinking, of being parents again. The girls are all excited about another little one. Avonlea's dream of having a baby brother seems closer than ever before and she is very happy about it. Olivia, our adventuresome, physical, mechanical girl, wants a new sibling but is not too sure about how she will relate to a brother. Funny since we thing she will be a baby brother's dream sister!

In case you are wondering if we will leave the gender open this time...NO. Boldly we proclaim to those who ask if we are adopting a boy or girl, that this time we will write BOY in the gender box.

As far as the name Evan, it was on my list of names when I was pregnant with Avonlea. Though I knew I was having a girl (that was the vision the Lord gave me) Evan "popped up". I never thought of it again and never considered using it for our three boys in heaven. Hmm, I guess I know why now!

So in case you guys don't remember names take a LONG time to come by around here so this is amazing to be so far ahead, he, he! Actually we even have one of the middle names, too. You may remember each of our children have names which have to do with what God was doing at our lives during my "pregnancy" and birth. When God put it on our heart that we would adopt a boy I knew He would have to heal my "fear" of losing a son. We were thinking of names and Avonlea said Courage. I just began to weep as God healed my heart and gave me HIS courage to begin the process to bring our son home.

Now we just wait until it is time to begin the process. Princess Amelia must be with us a year first though!

Crazy? NAH!

We just became the proud parents of an incredible baby girl. She is truly perfection, all smiles and giggles. So what are we doing thinking of a baby boy? I must say it has to be God. Not that we would not want a house full of children, I mean we do not use any adoption control methods, he, he...it's just at our ages, I sadly thought we were done. Well to our utter blessing we truly believe the Lord is taking us down that incredible adoption road once again (and I'll fill you in on a secret baby Evan will need a brother!).

If truth be known I must admit to being scared to even imagine or hope of having a son. Having lost 3 baby boys to pre-term birth I had it in the back of my mind that we were just not boy parents. I disguised my fear by saying we were girl parents and since we ADORE our daughters I never really felt anything was missing....until that day at Viet Tri. When God puts something in your heart everything changes and since then my visions are in blue!

My Vision in blue...

As I held Amelia at Viet Tri I “knew” in my heart that there was another baby yet to be added to our family. At that moment the Lord dropped a name in my heart Evan. We were to believe HIM for a son!!!

Evan, of Welsh origin. Variant of a Gaelic name anglicized as John (Hebrew) "the Lord is gracious".

In Celtic, the name means "young warrior".

In Welsh, it means "God is good".

In Hebrew, Evan means "rock".

In Greek, it is also used as a short form of Evangelos, which means "good messenger".